Tuesday, November 04, 2025

Older than dirt!

Yep, it's that time of year again, and this time I decided I'd put together a cake to illustrate how old I am!

A small cake resembling a forest floor
Yes, it's a forest floor cake!

This one was kind of fun to put together because literally NOTHING was made from scratch. The cake is a chocolate ganache mini sheet cake from Trader Joe's. To make "dirt" I whizzed up some cacao nibs, then some hazelnuts, then a few Joe-Joe cookies (TJ's answer to Oreos) in the food processor, and sprinkled bits of those all over the cake. The "twigs" are chocolate baton cookies and the "mushrooms" are Japanese mushroom cookies. And the "moss," which I wish were a little darker and more clumpy, is Malaysian pandan snack cakes processed into crumbs. I guess I could have added some chocolate rocks and some frosting leaves for greater authenticity, but I'm pretty pleased with how this turned out.

Plus it was delicious. I've never had so much fun eating dirt.

Sunday, November 02, 2025

Ants

We live in a home built the same year Star Wars released, and it's slanting toward winter in the Northern Hemisphere, so that means one thing: ant season.

A set of common and not-so-common ant species
Say hello to our leetle "friends"

If you've ever had to deal with ants in your living space, you know they get into everything and can be nearly impossible to eradicate. Most other insects you can just swat, spray or trap and be done, but ants are different. They live in large underground colonies; the ants you see are merely advance food scouts for the entire colony. If you kill them, the colony just sends more scouts. Further, as it gets colder outside, the colony sends scouts into warm human homes where food is always plentiful.

We think the ants are coming up from the crawl space under our home, but we can't figure out where the colony is, and at the moment we can't afford to pay an exterminator.

So it's time to use some strategy. And bait.

Fast-acting poison isn't the best choice against ants -- as mentioned, if you kill the scouts, the colony just sends more -- so it's more effective to use ant bait. Ideally, if you have sugar ants, you need a sweet bait that contains borax, a slow-acting poison. When the scouts find this bait, they can't get enough of it. (A few actually climb into the bait station and drown in the stuff, it's so good.) Then they take their hoard of delicious poison back to the colony. They feed it to other ants. They feed it to ant larvae. And eventually, if we're lucky, they feed a lot of it to their queen.

At first it seems like you're just giving the ants free lunch, because the number of scouts actually increases as everyone goes to the bait station to fill up on the new food source for the colony. But then things start to shift in the anthill. You see, borax makes it impossible for ants to digest food, so they eat and eat and eat and are still constantly hungry. Eventually, when the queen has been fed enough poison, she starves to death -- and the entire colony dies with her.

So, to reiterate: the best way to destroy a colony is to freely offer a substance that tastes like real nourishment, is delicious and plentiful, and is perniciously toxic, slowly making it impossible for the colony to digest anything that's good. And if you can successfully poison the colony's leader, everything else dies.

I can't help but think there's an analogy to be found there somewhere.

Friday, October 31, 2025

The return of the devil pepper

If you do it more than twice, it's a tradition, right?

Halloween has become the time of year when we make special festive stuffed peppers, aka "devil peppers." They're relatively inexpensive to make, and even with my very limited jack-o'-lantern carving skills I can usually still carve some middlingly good devil pepper faces.

This time I bought some tall, skinny peppers, so I opted to fill them boat style instead of top-off style. I wasn't sure how the change of filling style would affect them, but I'm actually quite pleased with the way these turned out.

The Anxiety Devil Pepper, with "blood" sauce
Y'r Obedient Servant, the Anxiety Devil Pepper

Happy Halloween!

Saturday, July 12, 2025

How we got the Charlie

Here is what I think happened.

Late in 2018, someone's pet cat had a litter of kittens. I suspect they were unexpected, but initially welcomed by Mama Cat's human family because honestly, who doesn't love cute little kittens?

Time passed. The kittens' eyes opened. They explored their small world, began to play and tussle. Slowly they were weaned off Mama's milk and began to eat solid food. They were even cuter than they'd been as helpless newborns. And they were loved.

More time passed. The kittens became more independent. They started to range further, play harder. They grew larger, reaching sexual maturity. The females went into heat. And, crucially, the males began to spray stinky urine to mark their territory.

And suddenly they weren't quite as lovable as they'd been as tiny kittens.

Or perhaps it was something more dire. Perhaps Mama Cat's human family didn't have enough money to feed them all. Maybe they'd lost their jobs or were moving out of state. Whatever it was, the humans decided the litter had to go.

I picture them all being bundled into the car during the summer of 2019. Driven some distance away from where they lived, probably at night. And then, close to a city park, they were dumped out of the car and the humans sped off, leaving the teenage cats to fend for themselves in a huge, strange, unfriendly world.

Some of them, no doubt, promptly became snacks for the coyotes who lived in that neighborhood. Some may have died of exposure. Others were likely run over by cars when they tried crossing a busy street. But at least one survived by staying hidden during the day, catching small prey or scavenging in human garbage to fill his hungry belly.

This one, a brown mackerel tabby boy with white ruff and paws, was good at catching mice and rats and ate whatever else he could find. He was always hungry. He itched constantly from fleas, and he stunk because he never had the time or space to give himself a proper bath. He was miserable. But he was alive.

Then one evening as the dusk and cold came on, he found a cardboard box with a hole cut in the side, under the eaves of a human house. There was a cozy shirt inside the box. Maybe it felt enough like his old home to be comforting. He slept there for the night and disappeared again during the day, his survival instincts kicking in as soon as the sky began to lighten.

He returned to sleep in the box for two nights, and on the third night there was another, stranger box placed nearby, this one made not of cardboard, but some kind of tough fabric and hard steel wire. Inside the box was the delicious scent of little silver fish in oil. The tabby boy was always hungry and the fish smelled so good that he forgot to be cautious. And when he entered, the box snapped shut behind him.

The tabby boy panicked. His time on the street had made him scrawny but muscular, and he fought with all his might to get out of the trap. Including dragging the fabric cover into the trap with him and gnawing several holes in it. But the trap held. And in the morning the people in the human house, who had been looking for their own missing cat for over a month, found him there.

They scanned him for a microchip. They looked for a collar. They put up signs all around the neighborhood, at the cat rescues and shelters, and at the vet's office indicating they'd found a cat. They fed him, combed all the fleas out of his coat, cleaned him up, had him altered, and took care of all the vaccines and other preventive medicines pets are supposed to receive. No one ever came forward to claim him.

And so Mama Cat's human family never found out that the 10-month-old male cat they dumped by the side of the road in 2019 would grow up to be the best, sweetest Charlie-cat ever.

Their loss.

Charlie, summer 2025
It's our handsome Charlie boy, all grown up!

Friday, April 11, 2025

Sorry, it's been a minute

As the little banner in the sidebar points out, this blog is written by a human, not an AI. And this particular human is very, very tired.

What's it like to live in the United States right now? In a word, exhausting. Every day we're jerked around another corner by the madman at the wheel, all of us hoping against hope that he won't plow us all into a brick wall just for funsies. And even as I write this, I recognize that many other people with less social currency than Captain Midnight and I are having it SO much worse under this regime that it seems boorish even to complain about what we've experienced.

Perhaps I'm so tired simply because I know it's all likely to get far worse before it gets better. And I don't know if I'll live long enough to see things improve.

An old peasant sits despairing with his head in his hands.

Since November 2024 I have thought, very seriously, about moving to another country. Let's just say there are some logistical issues with the idea. We used money from the sale of my family home to put a down payment on a house in 2022, which means we're tethered here by a mortgage. While Captain Midnight has looked into overseas employment, it's been difficult to find jobs outside the United States where he could command even a small fraction of the salary he was paid last year, and I've been out of the regular workforce long enough that I don't have much by way of useful skills to recommend me as an immigrant. Then too, I'm both a Type 2 diabetic and a bariatric patient, which means I'd have to choose a country where the medications I need to survive are readily available. We're both in our fifties, which means emigration to certain countries is simply barred to us (places like New Zealand, for instance, strongly prefer young families with children). Finally, we stay anchored to the USA because of numerous family members and friends. We're both loath to leave the nation we were raised in, even though it's becoming increasingly difficult to recognize.

I did attend one of the many Hands Off protests that occurred on April 5. That was, actually, quite cheering. The nearby small town I went to had so many protestors in attendance that the main street was completely blocked to vehicular traffic. I know that at least some of the people there voted for our current Dear Leader, so I have hope that the cultlike attitude toward him and his ilk is starting to sour. We'll see.

Monday, February 03, 2025

Blam This Piece of Crap Day: cancelled for 2025

If you can blam the piece of crap that is the current situation in the United States of America right now, well, you're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.

Monday, January 06, 2025

Normal

W

HILE it's all still clear in my head, here in early 2025, I thought it might be worthwhile and potentially educational to write an (incomplete) list of things that have long been considered part of normal life in the United States:







  • Taking a trip across or outside the country without asking a government official's permission.
  • Crossing state lines without going through checkpoints. 
  • Being able to use interstates, state highways, bridges and local roads without a second thought, because they've been reasonably maintained and are open to traffic.
  • Being able to get by on a single income. (NOTE: For many families, this is no longer "normal.")
  • Being able to afford keeping a pet.
  • Being able to afford meat and eggs.
  • Being able to afford the occasional meal in a restaurant.
  • Being able to send a letter or package to someone else in the USA via USPS and knowing it will arrive within two weeks.
  • Seeing same-sex couples in public just living their lives.
  • Seeing mixed-race couples in public just living their lives.
  • Understanding that the phrase "all men are created equal" doesn't mean we are all born into equal circumstances--we're obviously not--but that we are all considered equal under the law. Even the President.
  • Having your basic civil rights secured even if you're not married, middle-class or higher, white or male.
  • Not having to be a Christian (or even religious) to participate fully in public life.
  • Not having to justify your existence if you're a childless woman.
  • Being able to get the book, music, movie or game you want from the public library.
  • Having access to a public library.
  • Being able to vote in local, state and federal elections without intimidation or coercion.
  • Having a reasonable expectation of the peaceful transfer of power between one administration and the next.

What are your expectations of "normal life" in the USA? Are there things you anticipate might change in the next few years?