On privilege and noblesse oblige

[I composed the skeleton of this post on social media, but since I liked the idea and since I'm not sure the original message will stay there, I've brought it over here. So there.]

America was founded on the precept that "all [humans] are created equal." Yet everywhere one looks in the USA, there are clear signs of a two-tiered society, with one set of rules for the poor and underprivileged, and another set for the rich and overserved. I've been thinking about the wealthy, that first-tier group in American society, and how immature and tone-deaf its members often act in public places. And it's occurred to me that, in the absence of true egalitarianism, we need to bring back the concept of noblesse oblige.

If you already know what that phrase means, hear me out. If you don't, let me explain.

"Noblesse oblige" (French: "nobility obliges") is the expectation that those who enjoy wealth and privilege in society also perform the social responsibilities that come with their station, especially with regard to the people around them who are less privileged than they. Or, to put it in a quintessentially American way, "With great power comes great responsibility."

The notion of noblesse oblige has a long history in Europe and, to a lesser extent, the USA. The feudal lord who protected the peasants who worked his land? Noblesse oblige. The tradition of British monarchs and their families to serve in the military, even though they could easily get out of doing so? Noblesse oblige. The Boxing Day holiday, where one gives small gifts to people in the service industries? Noblesse oblige. The tendency of wealthy families to start charities and donate large sums of money to social causes such as curing or preventing deadly illnesses, housing the homeless, or caring for orphans? Noblesse oblige. The reason why the word "noble" is a synonym for kind, generous, gracious, and self-denying? Noblesse oblige.

Why do I think we need to bring this concept back? Because there are way too many self-focused Karens in the world, the kinds of people who throw adult tantrums in Starbucks because their convoluted coffee order was one degree colder than what they demanded, or who scream and flip tables when their wills are in any way thwarted. When such people throw fits in public and/or are brutal to people in service jobs merely to flaunt their privilege, they just end up looking like entitled asshats. Also, nothing says "new money" like vulgar insecurity acting out. When you order the world's first ultramegasuperyacht with your billions just to flaunt your cash liquidity before other wealthy people, they may say aloud, "That's a big boat," but privately wonder whether you're overcompensating for something. No one is overawed with your ability to maintain a laser-like focus on your own navel.

People with generational wealth and privilege have often been taught the concept of noblesse oblige from childhood. While some of these can still be oblivious to all the perks and privileges that come with their station, they still tend to be thoughtful, gracious and generous to the people around them. They have nothing to prove, so they don't act out like spoiled toddlers, and they realize that kindness is a true sign of quality.

Of course I would prefer a truly egalitarian society over the two-tiered mess we currently have. I believe in that promise of equality and I'm not going to stop working to make it reality. But even our current unequal society would be much more tolerable if the overserved among us were to recognize and uphold the responsibilities that came with their social privileges.