Gehh. Krep.

ELL, that took significantly longer than I'd thought.

Yes, I know it's a disjointed mess. But there were two things I wanted to do with this story, and I think I've achieved both of my objectives.

First, I wanted to force myself to write straight through without going back to edit. This was torture, by the way. I see every flaw and error and awkward change of tone and instance of lazy writing, and I JUST WANT to FIX it. But posting it for an audience (OK, not a huge audience, but still) meant I had to press on instead of just setting it aside or killing it with edits.

Second, I wanted to work on dialogue, which doesn't come easily to me. There are definitely some awkward spots here, but I feel as though I'm getting better and more comfortable with character exchanges. Maybe the key is to read lines of dialogue out loud and ask oneself, "Does this honestly sound like the way this character would talk?" Sometimes what works on paper doesn't work out loud.

I'm not pleased with the ending as it now stands. I knew I wanted it to have a bittersweet ending almost from the beginning; that Brad would choose a fantastically creative but lonely path. But right now it tastes more bitter than sweet. Should the readers get a glimpse of the place his wish has created, and would that take the edge off the bitterness? Inquiring minds want to know.

Actually, it's nearly 3 a.m. here and inquiring minds need sleep. But kindly post your constructive criticism here if you like.