is Mr. Pubes. (You might think he resembles Target the Little Ugly Uglydoll, but you would be wrong.)
Mr. Pubes is the naughty monster who lives with my sister Julie. Well, SOMETIMES he lives with my sister Julie. He is a cosmopolitan globetrotter who has been to Israel, Greece, Spain, and many other places. His many questionable exploits resemble nothing more than a soap opera. (In fact, I have urged Julie to write a book or a blog or something titled The Naughty Adventures of Mr. Pubes, thus far to no avail.)
And today this suave sophisticate sent me a letter.
That's me, The Pirate King. Arr matey!
What was inside, you ask? Alas, that's classified information. But suffice to say that Mr. Pubes is a hep and happenin' monster indeed. And I can't promise you anything, but I might possibly have more information about his many adventures in future.