Thursday, February 20, 2014


I have just one question today, and I think it's a good one:

Why am I so stupid?

At age 44, I've had enough experiences to start figuring out what does and doesn't work for me. I should have learned to trust my own judgement by now. There are a few personal rules in my life, rules that I've tested and know that they work, so why am I so ready to discard them on someone else's say-so?

Just recently I wrote about some of the misadventures I've had in trying to find clothing that flattered, or even just fit, my body. Therein I referred to a personal rule that's never failed me as long as I've followed it: if you can't try it on for free, don't buy it. I've had many poor-to-disastrous experiences with mail order clothes, and now I'm deeply distrustful of any company that charges me to return its products. Because if there's one thing I've learned from experience, it's that something I've mail-ordered will be a disaster. Often it's the whole order.

But then my dear sister recommended eShakti. And she wasn't the only one to recommend eShakti as a way of getting around fit problems. I'd been hearing and reading glowing testimonials about this company, and I started to wonder... was my personal rule really helping me, or just getting in the way of my being more stylish and attractive? Surely so many people couldn't be wrong.

So I bit. I went to eShakti and ordered this apparently sweet little dress.

Looks cute, doesn't it? HA.
I did make a couple of changes; I gave it short sleeves instead of caps and a scoop neck instead of a square one. And because I know I rarely fit standard sizes, I had my husband measure me very carefully and gave them my precise measurements for a custom-sized dress (which cost extra, but boy, was I gonna be adorable!).

Well, the dress arrived today. It fits everywhere -- unsurprising, since I paid a premium to make sure it would. It is made from the fabric and embroidered with the hearts shown in the picture above.

And it is easily the most ugly, unflattering dress I have ever had the misfortune to put on my body.

Somehow -- and I have to admit I'm impressed by this dubious achievement, because it must have been difficult to pull off -- this dress makes me appear even shorter and fatter than I actually am. I look like a little red troll in this dress.

So now, let's examine the full length of my folly. I've already paid extra for customization which did me no favors, a charge which eShakti company policy already warned me would not be refunded. I can live with that; some poor seamstress in India had to make the dress to my weird measurements, and I'm resigned to the fact that my money is now gone forever. But to heap insult on insult, I also get to pay extra to return a dress I would be mortified to wear in public. The company's offer of an additional gift card -- considering that it's for a business whose products I will probably never purchase again -- frankly doesn't hold that much appeal. I'd rather just avoid losing any more blood over this debacle.

No, I don't blame my sister for the recommendation. She has a number of eShakti dresses in her collection and they look very cute on her. I don't blame the people who have shared their testimonials online; who knows what their experiences are? I don't even blame eShakti; I guess they're doing their best to please their customers and make some money within the limited scope of mail-order clothing. But I do blame myself for being unwilling to trust my own past experiences and follow my personal rules. The if-you-can't-try-it-on-for-free rule would have saved me a buttload of grief (and a sizable chunk of cash) if I'd just stuck to it this time.

Oh yeah, the kicker? I was suckered into buying not one, but two dresses. Another of these monstrosities is on its way here from India, and I suspect it'll be just as embarrassingly homely on me as the first one was.

Just kill me now.


Helena said...

Oh, sad! I'm sorry it doesn't look good. :( Maybe the other one will be okay!

Scarehaircare said...

Send me a pic of you wearing the dress

Soozcat said...

Nope! Not even CM gets to see me wearing this thing.

It's bad. Really bad. Fortnight-old sushi bad.

Soozcat said...

Annnd the other one arrived today. It wasn't as bad as the first, but it still didn't meet basic standards of attractiveness (i.e., Captain Midnight did not say "hubba hubba"). Back they both go.