Going aggro

Don't chop off his head to make yourself look tall
Don't tear a strip off to make yourself feel wonderful
Who wants to compare, as if this was a competition
Leave that to teachers at school; must preserve their tradition

--Howard Jones, "Specialty"

So, I'm an ambler and always have been (Little Ms Two Speeds, remember?). Although I can hustle it up when absolutely necessary, I've found that even at my usual relaxed speed, I eventually get where I need to be. And at this point in life I see no compelling reason to become a power-walker.

Every now and then, though, I've noticed that my andante tempo provokes weirdly competitive urges in other people. This happened today at Costco. I'd finished with checkout and was walking at what I thought was a reasonable pace toward the exit, when suddenly a middle-aged woman with violently orange curls and a very full cart flew past me on the right. She was moving as close to full-out running as decorum would allow, and she had her eyes on the prize -- which in this case was the Costco employee inspecting carts as people left the premises.

I didn't think much about it in the moment; I just figured Little Orphan Annie was in a big hurry to beat rush hour traffic. Interestingly, though, as soon as her cart was inspected, she slowed to more of a cocky, victorious saunter as she headed for the parking lot. And in that moment I realized: she was going that fast only because she decided she had to beat me to the exit. I was sort of gobsmacked that I'd just lost a competition I hadn't even known I'd been part of, one she had literally made up out of thin air.

My friend at Costco is far from alone. I see this ha-ha-I-beat-you behavior all the time, everywhere from yard sales to four-way stops. And I'm still not sure why. Why do people do this? Does it really make them feel better or stronger to create a nonexistent competition against others on the fly, just so they can "win?" Does it bash at some inner demon of insecurity? Are their lives not sufficiently difficult, to the point that they need to gin up arbitrary challenges? Or is it just another case of way too much caffeine? Seriously, what is it? Because if you have insights into this mindset, I'd love to hear about them.