Saying "I love you"

Today I'd like to tell you a little something about my uncle.

My uncle is a good man. He's a good husband, a good father, he was a good older brother to my dad, and he was an exceptionally dutiful son to his parents. I live halfway across the country from my uncle, so I don't see him very often, but I do sometimes get to talk with him and my aunt on the phone. And at the end of our conversations, some variation of this exchange happens:

Me: Well, I have to go now. Thanks so much for calling! I love you!
Uncle: Uh. Yeah. Uh, great talking to you. Bye!

My uncle is a little awkward about saying (and hearing) the words "I love you." I know it's not that he doesn't feel it. As mentioned, he's a good man and he cares a great deal about family. But my uncle didn't grow up in a family that was physically or verbally demonstrative. His parents didn't hug often, didn't kiss, and rarely said the words "I love you" to their boys. They preferred to show their love in other ways -- by acts of service and kindness, by teaching their boys how to be good men, by various small but significant gifts given. And the boys knew their parents loved them. But my dad, in particular, longed for the signs of affection his parents rarely showed -- bear hugs, kisses on the cheek, and those three magic words that verified what they felt for him.

When my dad became a father, he did his best to create the kind of family he'd wanted when he was a boy. My siblings and I hugged each other, kissed our parents, and said "I love you" easily and frequently. Still, whenever he visited or called his parents, Dad would make an effort to express his love to them and they remained strong members of the you-will-know-it-by-the-way-we-show-it school of restrained affection. I suppose it was too awkward or too difficult for them to say it out loud.

I know my uncle was raised to show his love through service, not words. I know he doesn't like to say the words "I love you" out loud, and I know that it's awkward for him to hear me say those words to him. So why do I do it?

Well, for one thing, because I know life is short and there isn't time to mess around. I learned at the age of 12 that the people you love can go suddenly, without warning, and when they're gone there will never be another "next time" to express what you feel for them, so you might as well do so every chance you get. I also live halfway across the country from my aunt and uncle, so I have precious few chances to show my love and affection for them through acts of service, the way I could if I lived nearby. And you can't hug through the phone lines. So if I want my family to know how I feel about them, I've got to say it.

Understand, I don't expect my uncle to suddenly start saying "I love you" back to me. This isn't an exercise in social pressure. I already know he loves his family. I also know it's hard for him to say it. But my love for him isn't contingent on his ability to express his feelings in words. I just want him to know, the way my dad wanted his parents to know.

Do you make it a habit to tell people that you love them? Or is it hard for you to say those words aloud? Did you grow up saying the words "I love you" to the people you cared about most, or hearing them say those words to you? Do you think saying the words out loud cheapens the feeling -- or strengthens it? Have you ever wanted to tell someone you loved them, but been too nervous or afraid to do it?