The sushi-go-round

Mmmm, sepia sushi.

We went out tonight, to a kaiten sushi joint that opened last year. I enjoy kaiten sushi; it's a low-risk way to try a bite of something new. You see it on the conveyor belt, parading past your seat, and if it looks good you snag it. And because the servings are small, you rarely have problems with overeating. This particular place specialized in what I would call fusion sushi: various types of traditional maki and nigiri, but also American creations I'd never seen before (for instance, a shrimp-filled maki roll, tempura-fried, then topped with pineapple-mango salsa). Most of these were very good, cleverly put together. But on the way home, we got thinking about what happens to traditional foods of other nations when they get a melting-pot twist -- the difference between the German frankfurter and the American hot dog, for instance, or the worlds of difference between Italian and American pizza. And then we started coming up with various Americanized sushi rolls:

• The Elvis: a banana filled with peanut butter, stuck through the center of a Twinkie, then cut into maki rolls, individually battered and deep fried.
• The Wal-Mart: Vienna sausage, pork rinds and Cheez Whiz. Wrapped in bologna instead of nori.

Igh. I can't go on, I'm giving myself the skeeves.

In addition to actual sushi, this place also sent down the belt a series of little printed advertisements for items they made hot to order in the back kitchen: agedashi tofu, takoyaki, etc. And every now and then a bottle of ramune or a bowl of edamame or a fancy fruit cup would wend its way around the belt. Whimsy took over my brain and I began to imagine other items coming around: a small bottle of bubble blow, a mini-set of magic markers, some of those little mushroom-shaped cookies, a plethora of bouncy balls. You know they'd sell. It would definitely be a hit with young families... though the sushi chef might not be so enthralled with the idea the first time an errant bouncy ball came flying out of the sky to smash his perfectly-formed caterpillar roll.

In fact, why don't they put a conveyor belt like this in a toy store? Put it up at adult height if you want, and let the little bijou goodies wander past the shoppers' eyes. Are you listening to me, Lego?