(apologies to the spirits of Merle Travis & Tennessee Ernie Ford)
Some people say the West is made out of mud
But I say it's made out of coffee and spuds
Coffee and spuds and sagebrush too
We can tell you all about it 'cause we drove right through
We drove sixteen hours, and what did we get?
Another hour wishing we'd chartered a jet
St. Peter, don't you call me, 'cause I won't go
I drove all day, I ain't movin' no more
I woke up this mornin' when the sun didn't shine
I picked up a suitcase, nearly threw out my spine
We loaded up the car, got a tankful of gas,
Then construction workers hollered "DO NOT PASS!"
In the Puget Sound today it was drizzin' rain
But everywhere else the sun was fryin' my brain
Around about noon we stopped for some chow
At a place called Big Bun we can't show you right now
If you see us comin', we're in search of fries
Don't get in our way, it'll mean your demise
Stomachs of iron, and choppers of steel
If the salt don't get us, the cholesterol will
Ah, so fun. It's nice to be back in the Pacific Northwet.