Monday, July 05, 2010
Miss V also has a dad. I have made little or no mention of Miss V's dad here, because I don't know him very well. We don't see very much of him. Although he lives in the same town as my mother, due to reasons best known to himself he has chosen not to play a regular part in Miss V's life.
As far as I am aware, Miss V is this man's only daughter. She is 13 years old. She is growing up to be intelligent, lovely, funny, thoughtful, spiritual, sensitive, compassionate and fun-loving. In short, she's a great kid. And right now, she thinks there is something wrong with her because her own father will not even keep his promise to give her a phone call.
From this vantage point, I know he's the one missing out on knowing his daughter. I could tell V that there are so many other people in her life who love and care about her. I could try to convince her that it doesn't matter. But I remember what it was like to be a 13-year-old girl with no father in her life. I know that no matter how many other good people surround you -- family, friends, church leaders, teachers at school -- there's still a Daddy-shaped hole in your soul that no one else can fill. And I knew why my father couldn't be there for me. I can't and won't make excuses for a man who is alive and healthy, lives right across town, and can't be bothered to make a little room, a little time, in his life for a spectacularly wonderful person who shares half his genes.