Close-captioned for the friendship impaired

So I've come up with what seems like a good analogy about why it's so much easier to make friends when you're young, seen through the lens of storytelling media.

When you're a kid, meeting a new person your own age is like walking into a theater during the first few minutes of a big-budget action or adventure movie. Even if you've missed the first couple of minutes, you can usually suss out what's going on quickly -- and even if the story is very different from your own experience, you can usually find a handful of plot points with which you can identify.

Conversely, when you're an adult, meeting another adult is sometimes like walking in at the halfway point of an avant-garde foreign-language film with no subtitles, and half the time there aren't even any other audience members to help you figure out everything that's happened up to this point. Not only do you have no one to whom you can ask illuminating questions, it's difficult to figure out what questions you should even be asking. And when you don't even have a shared language for communication, it's impossible to find those key plot points that build audience empathy and interest.

With that said, occasionally as an adult you'll come across someone who takes the time to turn on the subtitles for you, who makes an effort to explain what's come before -- who really wants you to understand what you're experiencing. And it makes a whole world of difference. Scenes that were once confusing and obscure suddenly become illuminated when you understand why they exist, what their purpose is. Stylistic choices make sense when you realize what came before and how that colors what you're seeing now. And when someone turns to you and unexpectedly gives you a genuine smile, not only does it build tons of empathy, you might just feel like a kid with a new friend.

While making friends as an adult still isn't effortless by a long stretch, I'm so grateful for the people in my life who have taken the time to meet me halfway. In return, I'm making a stronger effort to explain my own life to others. It's still possible (sometimes discouragingly so) to screw things up, but it's also possible to hit the mark beautifully.