Accountability

IME to admit what some of you have already guessed: I have not been taking care of myself.

I haven't been sticking to my eating plan or exercising at all. My weight, although not at the all-time-high watermark, has been creeping up. I haven't used my blood glucose monitor in more than a month, because I know it won't have good news for me. I didn't go to the doctor when we had no insurance, but I haven't made the effort to find an endocrinologist now that we're insured again.

So why am I telling you this? Because I've realized that I'm the kind of person whose behavior improves more consistently when I'm held to account for my actions. Putting this information out there, even if -- no, scratch that -- especially if it's embarrassing to admit, forces me to confront and act upon the problem, because if I don't, I know someone else will. And I'd rather take the initiative to care for myself than be pressured into doing it by someone else.

I also have a family who depend on me for a number of things, not the least of which is emotional support. If they're constantly worrying about me and how I don't take care of myself, that's a drag on their emotional health. I can't do that to Captain Midnight and Miss V, especially when they're already stressed from starting a new job and freshman year at college, respectively. So even if I don't feel the need to do this for my own sake, I should be doing it for them.

While I could wait to make changes on some particular future day, I think that's probably just the procrastination talking. So today I'm counting carbohydrates, paying attention to portion sizes and what's in them, cracking open the low-carb cookbooks and planning future grocery purchases, and re-activating my YMCA membership.

Also: any recommendations for a good endocrinologist in the greater Seattle area?