Tuesday, July 31, 2018

The view from Planet Soozcat

So many wildfires are burning in the Western states right now. We aren't quite close enough that we can smell them, the way we could last summer, but the smoke high in the atmosphere is affecting the sunlight. It took a while for me to notice exactly what was different. But it's the colors. The slightly orange hue of the sunlight casts unusual shadows, leaches the brightness from the blue sky and tones every green leaf down to a dull khaki. It's as though we all woke up on an alien planet this morning, with an alien sun. Makes me wonder how future pioneers on habitable-but-different worlds will handle the small but significant differences in the light, in the sounds, in the new vegetation, in the un-Earthly scent of the air.

On Thursday I'm going in for surgery that, if it works as it ought to, will prolong my life and improve my long-term health. But everything I do that's another step toward checking into the hospital makes me terribly nervous. No surgery is guaranteed to work, let alone work perfectly, and I keep questioning my decision. Is this the right choice? Will I regret this six months or a year from now? What if it doesn't work? What if complications from the surgery make my life unbearable? Or what if they use too much or the wrong kind of anesthetic (I had a bad reaction to anesthesia in the recent past) and I end up in terrible pain or have lasting brain damage? What if I die on the operating table and leave CM and Miss V and Roxy to fend for themselves? There are way too many factors to this decision that are out of my hands.

Could I ask you to pray for us? It doesn't have to be a big deal. Just address God as you choose to and ask Him to bless Sooz and her family this week. He's omniscient, so He'll know who you mean. Thanks.

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